Learning Chinese Blog

EMW Cultural Immersions

Today is a pretty straight forward entry.  It will be more "informational" than usual.  Boo!
But, you wan to learn right?  SO shut your yap and read .  I've been receiving Chinese word-a-day emails from a couple of sites, one of which is EMW Cultural Immersions which provides classes for both Mandarin and Cantonese.  They have a variety of options and locations for camps and home stays.  Or you can get your own place.  Which is recommended because, well, you know why.  Plus, look at the exciting offers!

"Along with exciting outings, holidays and activities; energetic and experienced teachers; and home stay accommodations and meals, we offer everything you need to take your Mandarin Chinese and Cantonese learning to the next level."  woo!

"Whether your Chinese is basic or advanced, join us this year for our 6-week summer or our 5-week winter Mandarin and Cantonese learning camps."  If it's at all like bank camp I am in.

This is an actual class.  Bored...stiff. Here all week people.

 

Hong Kong Public Libraries

A great new resource I've discovered is the Hong Kong Public Library .  The Girl took a trip there today and picked up multiple CDS and books on learning both Mandarin and Cantonese.  We know, we're focusing on Mandarin, but Cantonese is certainly more useful in our ventures to local shops and restaurants.  It seems you need some sort of proof of local residence to get a library card, so find yourself a local and make friends!  We shall spend the next few days testing these out and report back.  They have many branches, but we went to the Shek Tong Tsui branch here...

Bargaining in Hong Kong

Until you become proficient in Chinese, you may be at a loss when shopping at small stores and markets.  Vendors will often have a calculator into which they will enter the price they want for that vial of rhinoceros horn powder.  They will shot it to you and you can then enter a counter offer.  Or, since we both know you REALLY want that powder, you can just nod and fork over the cash.  If you decide to bargain, there are also a number of hand gestures that are used to indicate numbers between 1 and 10.  These can be found here.  counting

If the negotiations fail, you can resort to one last gesture that anyone who has driven in New York will surely recognize.

 

Course Review: Chinese Pod

Yet again, I have scoured the Internets for another Chinese language course.  And by "scoured" I mean typed "learn chinese" into Itunes.  I actually found the latest offering, Chinese Pod, some time ago but just got around to trying it.  Which is odd since this is image that comes up in itunes....

The marketing guys at Chinese Pod are not dumb.  And the teacher is not so bad either.  Some guy named John who teaches with his lovely co-host Jenny.  Sadly, John is not as unintentionally funny as Adam or Serge, but his banter with Jenny seems a lot more natural than other courses I've explored.  I managd to learn something useful that I think I'll remember in the very first pod cast I listened to, so I am gonna give these guys a try this week. 

Etiquette in China: Karaoke

Karoake.  It's not just for the Japanese.  Though they remain, in my opinion, the kings of butchering Johnny Cash songs.  If you are in China on business and a colleague invites you to go to a karoake bar you will be expected to sing at least one song.  I know.  You suck.  Luckily, any attempt at warbling through  an Air Supply song will be greeted with much applause and praise.  The Chinese are bascially the anti-Simon Cowell.  Also, the host of the evening is expected to pick up the check, and fighting over the bill is considered very rude round eye.  So, even though you'll make an ass of yourself, you won't have to pay for it!


These guys are never getting laid.

I still want duck

As I have mentioned before, I have been searching for some tasty, crisp duck.  I mean, Chinese restaurants are the only places you eat duck at home, except for maybe at some snooty French place that will cover it in orange sauce.  Bah.  However, I have purchased some meat products of dubious origin at a couple stores and I am pretty sure they were not duck.  And if they were, I am sadly disappointed.  So, I will be wandering around with a note in my pocket to show to shop keepers from now on, hoping that they will understand that I am seeking crispy, water fowl goodness.  This young lady has provided me with the necessary tools.  She also has other lessons in which you can learn to say other animals, like "elephant".  Hmm, actual elephant ears.  I am intrigued.



How to Write "Duck" in Chinese Symbols -- powered by eHow.com

Mandarin FastTrack 1.0

If you read this blog, or my others, you have gathered that IPhones, Itunes, Iwhatever, annoy me.  But I would be remiss if I did not pass along some useful things that are available as apps for my arch neneses. 

Mandarin FastTrack 1.0 is supposed to  help users learn some conversational Chinese on the quick. it apparently has a talking English-to-Chinese dictionary and translator for when you're traveling in China.

There's a human audio model for listening practice, and a recorder and playback built in each item for speaking practice. There are also quizzes to make sure you're paying attention.

Of course, this app ain't free, or even  cheap, the way we like things around here.  But it might be worthwhile.  I'll have The Girl take it for a test run this weekend and get back to you.

You are weird to the Chinese

One of the reasons to learn Chinese is to help you acclimate to the culture and to help the Chinese feel comfortable with you.  Most Chinese people have never seen a foreigner, which is too bad, they are great live.  Only the most wealthy Chinese get to travel abroad, so when you are outside the cities, people may stop and stare and stare at you or gather around.  This is especially true if you are, like me, tall and black.  Freaky.  This should not be considered rude or hostile, it's just their way of saying "WTF?"  If you can communicate with them in even the simplest form, it will go along way towards building relationships, which you will need once they (or the Indians) become our overlords sometime in 2016.  Nonetheless, the Chinese will generally treat you with respect, unless you keep asking them if they know Bruce Lee or where the egg roll is on the menu.  Took me a month to stop that.

Speaking of Bruce, if you watch this video you WIll want to go outside and punch someone.

You know you want the curse words

So, I've been giving you the nice, handy and mundane tools to begin learning Chinese.  But you deserve the real deal.  Naughtiness!  Let's face it, would you want to send some poor foreigner to Brooklyn without him understanding when someone said "Hey, f**k you and the horse you rode in on buddy!"?  Of course not.  So, I am giving you the following video which is in Cantonese because the good people of Profane Chinese say that people from the south of China swear more than those from the north.  Who knew?!

 

"You're passport please."

Learning Chinese may not be a matter of life and death for you, but some times knowing what the natives are saying can be more important than others.  For example, when you are faced with customs officials.  Customs officials the world over are a humorless lot.  So, when they ask you questions it is better to get the gist of what they are saying rather than shrugging your shoulders, or worse, breaking into a cold sweat and looking around frantically. That will end you up in your own reenactment of Midnight Express.  If you you haven't seen the movie just trust me, messing with the border monkeys in any country is a bad idea. So today, here is a handy video that will guide you through some phrases you are likely to encounter on your way in China.